Conundrum

How could this be?

I want no part of it

I want all of it



For days on end

I strive

To make the connection

I feel its possibilities to the core



Rejected

For reasons unknown

Dejected

I no longer try

And then

You call

We meet

It's made



Fear tempts me to retreat

From that which I've

Worked so diligently

To create


And Yet, I long for the sound of

Your sweet voice

The one that leaves my eloquent tongue

Confounded

You speak in tones

That resound in my soul



Intrigue of a familiar spirit

Soul not entirely unknown

Could two who have

Connected ever

Possibly have been strangers?

Nonetheless

Will she find me worthy?

Still I wonder what length

Of anguish and turmoil

Shall I endure before

You perceive my strengths as weakness

Potential for self sabotage not withstanding

Were we doomed from the beginning anyway?

Yea, wouldn't that be

A convenient excuse

Oh, the conundrum of guarded optimism